Chinese Brides — Meet Chinese Mail Order Brides

If you need a good dating app with real brides, consider it done—just scroll down a bit, join any of those apps, and you’ll be talking to real Chinese women in 2 minutes or less.

Or, if you need to understand these women better, don’t rush. Read our guide first: we’ll explain how to meet them, why it’s a good idea, what to expect from Chinese wives, and how much it actually costs.  

What to know before getting a Chinese bride 

We’ve read at least 10 messages from American men who got married to Chinese ladies—they say these women are perfect. We also read a few posts from those who didn’t find a wife in China—they say these women are selfish, rude, and reserved (and definitely not perfect).

The truth is neither group of men is 100% right. Chinese women aren’t the best or the worst; they’re specific, and they have some very interesting character traits you need to be aware of. 

• They are very loyal. They can be very jealous. Some say they are possessive but it’s certainly not true (at least for the majority of Chinese women). But yes, your Chinese wife can become controlling if she thinks you have an affair.
• They are very loving and caring, they support their men, and they’re very romantic. Some, however, say they’re “clingy” and it’s hard to get time for themselves (and it’s not surprising because the concept of privacy is almost non-existent in China)
• They tend to be more tranquil than expressive. Politeness and humbleness are one of the most important virtues of a woman in Chinese society.
• Some people say they’re too reserved. You see the pattern, right? For some, they are extremely calm and humble, other people perceive it as being too shy or reserved—and the reality is in the middle.
• They are sometimes insecure. It may be related to financial problems (in this case, they might want to control all the finances in the family) or to a previous relationship (in this case, they might be too jealous and controlling)

In fact, all these problems can be fixed. Insecurities can be overcome with trust, and coldness will fade away with time—but still, you need to weigh all the positive and negative traits before you start dating them.

Top dating tips 

We don’t want to list all those cliches. Be confident, look nice, show respect, etc, etc, we are sure you’ve already met those.

Instead, let’s talk about the top 3 tips that can really help you with Chinese girls.

• Do not let her think you’re cheating on her, and yes, when we say “cheating on her” we also mean such things as “flirting with a coworker” or “having a coffee with a female friend”. Just don’t let her have a reason to be jealous. And don’t worry, this can be fixed.
• Show that you’re financially stable. Do not try to “buy” her or brag about your career, you don’t want to look like another American sex tourist. Just let her know that you have a stable career and can provide for the family if it’s needed. 
• When you meet her parents, be as respectful as possible. Their parents’ opinion is extremely important to them, and Chinese society is generally very respectful towards seniors, so your goal here is to show them how much politeness you express toward them (even if you’ve never met them before) and to make them like you. The latter is simple: they want their daughter to marry a trustworthy man who can provide for the family, and allow a woman to visit China at least once a year. 

Not that challenging, right? But these tips will significantly enhance your chances of improving your relationship with your partner and her family.

Is buying a Chinese bride actually possible? 

No, it’s not possible, and even if it was possible, it would be 100% illegal. However, it’s legal to date them and to marry a woman you’ve met on a dating site, even if she’s from another country. All you need is to find such a website—they’re called “mail order bride websites” and they have thousands of marriage-minded foreign ladies with serious intentions. 

Oh, and by the way, if you want to learn more about the legal side of this international dating thing or about how this industry works, we have the best guides for you!

What’s the best way to meet Chinese brides? 

Wondering where to meet them? You can choose one of these options.

Online

We mean mail order bride/international dating websites, not Facebook or Instagram. These platforms are not designed for dating and they’re blocked in China, so let’s talk about the more “traditional” options.

And more efficient ones, by the way. 

Mail order bride platforms (like SakuraDate) are actually a great choice for those who don’t want to spend a lot of money, those who want to save time, and those who don’t think that meeting women offline is a good idea.

Offline

There’s nothing to explain here, right? You buy a ticket to Beijing, walk down the main streets, go to parks, visit malls and nightclubs, etc. If you do everything right, maybe, you can meet a woman who’d like to marry a foreigner.

Or at least that’s how it looks at first sight.

Chinese mail order bride: How much? 

Now, let’s talk about the mail order brides cost. No, we didn’t change our mind, you still can’t buy a bride—but you’ll have to pay for some things. 

What are those things?

First of all, it’s online dating. Let’s say you’re a SakuraDate user: this site, like most dating platforms today, has a credit system, so it would be very convenient to use it as an example.

• So, the largest credit package on this site costs $200 for 1,000 credits
• It’s $0.2 per credit
• 1 minute of live chat costs 2 credits or 40 cents
• 1 email costs 20 credits or $4
• The average user chats for 15-20 minutes per day and sends around 10 emails per month
• 15 minutes of live chat cost 30 credits or $6 per day ($180/month)
• 20 minutes of live chat cost 40 credits or $8 per day ($240/month)
• 10 emails cost $40
• Total — $220-$280

Second, it’s a trip to China. Usually, men spend at least 7 days with their online brides before proposing. Here’s how much you’ll pay for it: 

• Flight — $1,000
• Hotel — $1,200
• Food, transport — $300
• Gifts, dates — $500
• Total — $3,000

You will also need to pay for the K-1 visa. The visa fee is around $1,100 and the green card costs $1,450, so it’s around $2,500-$2,600.

And the wedding! A wedding in China might cost you anything from $3,000 to $60,000, a wedding in the US will cost $10,000-$30,000. However, there are a lot of options with the wedding—we know a lot of couples who simply registered their marriage (around $200) and didn’t have a wedding party.

So the final cost depends on dozens of factors, as you see. From the time you spend in a live chat to the number of guests, from the season you’re going to visit China to the gifts you’ll buy, etc. We know at least 2 couples who got married for $2,000 or $3,000 and we also know at least one guy who had a $100,000 wedding in Shanghai, so the choice is huge, and the choice is yours.

Marrying a Chinese bride: What to expect 

• You’ll probably visit China quite often. They have very strong family ties, just like Japanese and Koreans, and those Chinese women who live in the US typically visit their families in China at least 1-2 times per year if they can afford it.
• You’ll most likely forget about arguments. Chinese women are very non-confrontational, especially in a romantic relationship. If they don’t agree with something, they will probably not tell you about it directly.
• Your wife will support you and help you develop (both in a personal way and career-wise). They provide unconditional support, that’s what lots of men love about Asian women.
• She will not be a stay at home wife. Chinese women are not as traditional as you think—they’re hard-working and careers are very important to them. Not as important as family, of course, but still important.

Why do Chinese girls look for foreign men? 

What makes them sign up on a site like SakuraDate? Why don’t they just find a local guy in WeChat, TanTan, or whatever?

• Chinese men are not interested in marriage. Economic insecurity made millions of Chinese men in their 20s and 30s change their minds regarding marriage—as a result, there are millions of women in this country who just can’t find a partner.
• Western men make better husbands. Chinese brides believe that American men are more loyal and treat women better than men in China.
• They want to escape the social pressure which is pretty powerful in China. This is especially noticeable when we’re talking about single women in their 30s or older—such women are called “sheng nü”, “leftover ladies”.
• They want to live in a better country. China is not what it was 20 years ago and who knows where it will be in 20 more years, but its standards of living are still much lower than the ones in the United States.

Chinese brides: 4 stereotypes you have to know about 

It doesn’t matter if you’ve heard those stereotypes or not—they’re so common we can guarantee that at least some of your friends or family share at least one of them.

Continue reading and we’ll explain why stereotypes are never 100% true. 

“They don’t like foreigners”

Well, they don’t adore them like some young Koreans or Japanese, that’s a fact. Even if you’re tall, blonde, and blue-eyed, there won’t be that “all eyes on you” situation in China. When it comes to a relationship, it’s technically possible to find a woman whose parents wouldn’t like the idea of international marriage (an international marriage that involves their daughter, to be more specific). But the chances are incredibly low unless you won’t focus on rural regions of China. Those who live in big cities, especially well-educated women in their 30s, have no prejudice against foreign men.

“They are rude and loud”

That’s what some people say, and we found the roots of this stereotype. It turns out it’s the Chinese tourists that contributed a lot to its creation, and the fact this stereotype is partially true is actually the reason why it’s 100% not true for Chinese brides! The point is that tourists are not the best illustration of the whole nation’s behavior—American tourists are a great example. Tourists may do their tourist things, but this has nothing to do with how real Chinese behave in a relationship. As you already know, in China, they have the concept of “face” (mianzi) which basically means “dignity of an individual”, and that’s one of the reasons why they’re usually pretty non-confrontational. 

“They do not speak English”

Well, China is the 91st country in the world regarding the English Proficiency Index, and that’s not the best result. The 92nd country on that list is Japan, by the way—but you are probably well aware that both China and Japan are very popular Asian bride countries. This would be impossible if they didn’t speak English, right? The point is, the overall national English proficiency might be low in China and Japan, but when we’re talking about young Chinese (or Japanese) brides, the situation is much, much better.

“They want to control everything”

And by “everything”, people usually mean the money of the family. This is not 100% false, but it’s not a Chinese-only thing, it’s rather a low-income-countries-thing—women who know something about poverty might be too harsh on family finances sometimes. But this is not too common. 

You see, stereotypes might be true or false, but they shouldn’t shape your views and expectations. The chances your Chinese bride will be controlling are very low, the chances of her being rude or racist are even lower, and so on.

Do you still have questions? 

If you want to know more about the industry in general, read one of those guides— we’ve covered literally every detail of the international dating industry. Or, scroll down to our FAQ section: there, we’ll answer some extra questions about Chinese ladies!

FAQ